taitu88 (taitu88) wrote,

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It's been days and days and days and I STILL cannot stop thinking about it!!!

I'm so restless and I've taken to pacing and muttering to myself once more. I feel so pathetic.

Just because I was already sure that I would never be kissed at the old age of 20 and then I was kissed by the guy I've loved for four years or so whom I thought would never kiss me ever especially not at his house during his birthday party and it was really good and he was so sweet to me before and after and he's single and apparently over that horrid witch-girl and said some really unbelievable things that almost made me cry because I never thought he'd say something like that to me and noticed that I left without saying good bye and made me feel like I'm not such a waste of space after all....

It doesn't mean I always gotta think about it ,right?

Because he can't be thinking about me. He just can't. I mean..we've hardly spoken since then...well..ok communication is a two way street and I've been too scared to contact him. But...you see..I'm not in his top on myspace and...yeah right myspace isn't the end all of the world and my not being there does not mean he abhors me. Um...but...uh...he...well...OH! He hasn't really given me any sign that the kiss could have meant something..I mean..there was that bulletin about kissing and how kissing someone on the lips meant "I love you"..about how you are missing someone...or thinking of them or....but..it's not the end all, right? But..he kissed someone else at the party too...ok..I don't actually have proof that he did..but..I'm sure of it. I just am...

He probably only kissed me because he thought I was upset and hiding in the bathroom...which, admittedly, I was. So..he was just trying to..comfort me I guess. God..he picked a heck of a way to do it...He can't be interested in me..it's impossible...

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