taitu88 (taitu88) wrote,
taitu88
taitu88

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Bug A Boo

Just when I thought he couldn't get any weirder. He is seriously freaking me out. I get sick at the thought of going to school because I know there is a good chance I will run into him. Maybe this is what normally happens when you are pursued by a guy who likes you (How would I know?) but it feels a lot more like getting stalked.
I'm trying to be nice to him but he makes it unbelievably hard. I mean if he asks me if it's ok if he talks to me or wants to talk to me one more time I shall scream. I don't always answer his texts because I'm doing my best not to encourage him and his questions are usually annoying. Because No I do NOT want to ride his motorcycle with him. 1. I would be afraid, 2. I don't even know him. I don't want my parents to have to identify my mangled body after hopping on a bike with some older guy (He's 26!) I didn't even know. They raised me better.
A few days ago he asked me if he was a type of guy I would talk to, he wouldn't move to fast, wanted to START OUT as friends, wanted to talk to me since last year...blah. I told him I just felt more comfortable talking online than on the phone or in person. In his next text he said that was fine...and asked me were my plans after college. I was immediately annoyed as I thought I had gotten my point across. He sent several more texts that same day asking me random questions. I was angry because I had just said that I was not comfortable talking to him over the phone. Correct me if I’m wrong you use a phone when you text someone. It may not be the exact same as talking to the person but there is still a phone involved.
I was also upset about his “start out as friends” comment. What made him think we would be more in the future?
I added him to another blog of mine he had asked me about. He sent me messages but his profile was private and he didn’t add me then. I wondered why. I thought he was possibly hiding something. A recent divorce, some kids some creepy fetish. When he finally added me I went to his site to check it out. I found no evidence of children or an ex-wife…or ANYTHING. I was the only person there. I don’t know how that would make any of you feel but I was EXTREMELY creeped out. Why would he ask me about the site when he didn’t even have one?
He said he didn't want a lot of friends on there unless they were "rooted in Christ". I told him about some Christian groups and he asked me if it would be crazy if I was the only friend he had.
Um, YES!! It's just a tad psychotic.
I told him it would be a waste and he could change his mind and he said it wouldn't and he only wanted me on there and I was the only reason he even had the page. He said he'd made up his mind about me last year and that he wanted more than friendship from me. About two days ago he wanted to start out as friends.
Maybe it's just me...not liking him as I do...but it feels like he cares more about what he wants. He wants to start out as friends, then he wants more than friendship. I told him I wasn't ready for anything beyond friendship and he had to ask if I was seeing anyone. Whether or not I'm seeing anyone isn't the point. Just because I'm not I won't be jumping into his arms any time soon.
And he's said twice now that he hopes I won't forget him.
Oh, sir, I shall never forget you. I have had a few scary stalker types in my day, though I am quite impressed with what speed you have jettisoned to the top of that list, and I haven't forgotten a single one. Or the things they did to make me feel insecure and frightened around men. My friends and I used to laugh over them and they would help me out. But they're scattered now and it's pretty much just me.

Ugh..I feel pressured and scared and sick and I have these...convulsions every time I think of him or he contacts me.

This is not going to end well.


But end it shall.
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